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A little mishap ... The Fat Lady has sung!... Caption Competition... Handlebars on my knees
Hello Yesterday, Wed. 5th December at approx 15.30 local time (19.30 GMT) the goat died... What happened? The steering head sheered off the chassis. No warning!!!! Driving down a dry, flat, straight road, with no cars/wildlife around, it was a bit of a blur. 80 or 90kmh, boring as you like.... then I have the handle bars on my knees, the engine hits the tarmac, the bike slides 20 meters down the road on the bash plate/right rocker/pannier/back wheel, with me still sitting on it, off the road and into the sandy verge on the right side of the road. The only thing now attaching the steering head/front forks/instrument panel to the rest of the chassis are the various cables/wires. Furthermore, the chassis is broken in at least 2 other places I can see. There is a hole in the right rocker. Who knows what damage there is to the rest of the bike from sliding down the road on its engine.
I am ok. Upon getting up, my first words were "It's over!" I tried to pick up the bike to stop oil and fuel running out. Got the luggage off and cried. Some police appeared pretty quickly, gave me a cup of water and called a tow-truck. I took a bus back to Salvador last night. Hope you are well. If I don't talk to you before, have a happy Christmas and a Good 2002.
Cheers RIP Update Hello
people, The Fat Lady has sung! / Caption Competition...
A quick mail to wish you all the VERY BEST FOR THE FESTIVE SEASON AND 2002 AND TO HOPE YOU DRINK FAR TOO MUCH BEER, WINE, WHISKEY AND CAIPRINJA AND EXPLODE AS A RESULT OF A MINCE PIE, CHURASCO AND TURKEY OVERDOSE, as well as to let you know the latest in the life of thebrightstuff. All is good with me. Having over the past couple of weeks performed enough multiple somersaults and other bike related cunning stunts to last me several life times, the moment has come. After initial sadness that the journey is over, relief that I’m alive, it is now time to say that -thankfully- the Fat Lady has sung. It is over with THAT Bike and me. When the b**ch tries to -figuratively speaking- do a Loretta Bobbit on me, it is time to say enough is enough. The final act before parting company was to change its name to `The Fat Lady`. This was necessary in order to provide a witty (well at least I try!!) title to this mail. The bike has gone from being ´Wife` (an Ethiopian policeman though BMW stood for Be My Wife) to ´Ex-Wife` (after everything else broke) to ´Goaty` (an affectionate (ish) name) to T-F-L.
The bike is welded back together and I ride onwards, albeit under duress. I really can’t be bothered to undergo a discussion about the merits of R100GSs in particular and BMWs in general. If you want to talk to me about it, it’ll cost you lots of beers. It’s an understatement to say, I’m still somewhat shocked about what happened. Yes I had a couple of dings, drove lots of poor roads, but the bike still has straight front forks, original (137tkm) front wheel bearings, 2 straight fork bridges and hey presto, the steering column (allegedly the strongest part of a bike??!!) snaps off. The adventurer Ranulph Fiennes Parents might judge their old school by: Would I send my own child there? The adventurer Ranulph Fiennes said `No` about Eton College. Guess my answer to a friend who inquires whether he/she should buy a BMW R100GS: As the bird with the big handbag and the blue rinse said: No (because I want to keep my friends while they’re alive), No (because I want to keep my friends alive) and No (because Mrs T said ´No No No`).
If I do buy a BMW, it will be one built before 1980. I do fancy a R60/2 in black with white pinstripes and straight chrome exhausts.... I must thank the many many many people who answered my last request for help and advice. I received a deluge of mail and comments. 99% were appreciated: One friend suggested Araldite, not to glue the bike, but for me to sniff (!) Another thought a cartoon of me still sitting on the Goat, forks flopped out in front, bike head down, sparks coming off the engine guard, sliding along on the engine and back wheel would be appropriate.... Can any of you draw? Maybe we can do a caption competition for this cartoon. You know, reader interaction and all that... Everybody was great. Sorry I couldn’t thank you all individually. The other 1%? Life is too short...
It took 8 days of stress getting the bike collected from where it broke, to Salvador and ready for welding and a further 8 days to get it all done. It was not easy: Not speaking the language, the heat, the stupid Salvador bongo drums. For the same reason every chappie with a hammer and a rusty nail ain't a mechanic, every plonker with a drum ain’t going to have an A and R man for a Samba record label chasing him. Othon of Salvador, formerly of London, Juracy, a bike dealer and Dagny of the BMW Clube do Brasil deserve a special expression of gratitude. Now I’m in southern Brazil, being treated really well by a multitude of great bikers and non-bikers. Rio de Janeiro was visited and the usual sights ticked off, although T-shirts weren’t bought.
I like Brazil It has been statistically proven, that in Brazil you are more likely to die in a road traffic accident than in any other country in the world. They drive like complete and utter negligent w**kers. (And how do you think I feel? My bike tried to do me in, without any other motorist involved!!!) Add to this, (in northern Brazil particularly), shocking roads, speed bumps, the heat, long, straight, boring distances, I would recommend you fly from place to place. Don’t get me wrong. I do like Brazil. A lot. There are great cities, interesting historical sights, natural wonders, super people, lovely babes, the best beaches, but.... getting to each of these places and people is a pain and unnecessarily dangerous.
Where do I go from here? I’ll spend Chrimbo and New Year in southern Brazil and head for Chile in early January. Why? Because at the end of January/early February I will be in Ushuaia, the southernmost city in South America. Weren’t you there in March this year already? I here you say..... Yes. A nice man (my boss) has lent me a Kawasaki KLR650. Your boss?: A pleasant chap going by the name of Skip who runs Pancho Villa Moto Tours is entrusting me to help guide his clients from Vina del Mar to Tierra del Fuego and back between Jan 15 and Feb 15. It won’t be easy, but I’m certain it’ll be fun. I look forward to the work and also trying out a Japanese single. After that it will be time for contemplation and to get my ´life` together. New career, new woman (any loose flussies out there??), new bike, renew old friendships from before the trip, try to keep up new friendships.... I fancy purchasing a little dirtbike to scream around the dirt on. Otherwise it will be sit tight, drive a car, write a book and see what happens. There
you have it.
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Chris Bright and thebrightstuff.com 1994-2008. All Rights Reserved.
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